I'm watching an ABC news report on Girlscout cookies right now. There are all of these people who are like "Girlscouts cookies are the devil! They should sell Boondoggle Keychains instead of those diabetes-causing horrors!" ... Ok, so I added the boondoggle part, but that's the basic idea. Susan Cooper, an unattractive, anorexic woman comes onto the camera and talks about how we're in the midst of an "obesity pandemic" (did she miss the memo? Why is she so thin in the midst of this PANDEMIC? She probably has friends in the goverment who supply her with special serum that causes her cheeks to cave inward), and that the girlscouts shouldn't be attacking the health of our helpless children.
Next, Michael Jacobson tells us that "girlscouts should be selling products that don't undermine our health... whether that's keychains... or... whatever!" Very intelligently put, Michael. Well done, well done.
As for me, I just don't know what I'll do if I can't buy my samoas next year! Oh, Lord, I feel sick with anguish at the thought of my children growing up in a world without Thin Mints! Someone must stop these paranoid cookie-nazis!